Six things to remember before "Rizzoli & Isles" returns for Season 5

Your favorite totally gay, not gay homicide detective and medical examiner are back for their fifth season of bickering and pretending to not be married.

You know what to do, lesbians. 

Back at the Dirty Robber, Jane and Maura are discussing the case when they notice some dudebros secretly rating women as they walk in the door. How precious, sexism. What fun. Jane says they should give them a “thrill” and the ladies offer up their own ratings. Clearly, those scores are for each other. Because those guys are 4s, and that is being very generous.

“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.07): Who let the beards out?
Angie Harmon and her legs were at TNT’s 25th anniversary party at TCA last night, and you know we chatted her up. 

Look, I know this next part where they collect Maura’s clothes for processing is supposed to be all serious and poignant and heartbreaking. And, don’t get me wrong, it is. Sasha Alexander sells the hell out of this episode with her sad, lost eyes. But then there’s also the small issue of Sasha Alexander stripping down to her black bra and panties. I’m not saying I’m a horrible pervert who rewound that scene three times or possibly more. I’m just saying it happened.

“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.04): Orange Is the New Rizzles

(via drmaurisles)

This week on Rizzoli & Isles, the entire Rizzoli clan is getting gussied up. While at Maura’s place. Because, well, of course they are. Big familial celebrations involving fancy clothes and the nice crystal naturally occur at the Isles Estates because family is family. Sure, Jane’s reluctance to make it legal, despite the best intentions of the Supreme Court, is frustrating. But we’re all certain that this Boston Marriage will become a plain-old marriage in time. Stare at those glasses all you want, Jane, it’s happening.

Wait, is it happening now? Because Jane and Maura are walking down the aisle together toward the altar to sanctify their love in front of God and assorted loved ones. Oh, false alarm. Well, we’ll just call it practice for the real thing. It’s TJ’s christening, not marriage, which has brought us together today (p.s. if you didn’t read that last bit in the Princess Bride priest voice I’m not sure if we can still be friends).

“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext recap (4.03): They’re not regular aunts, they’re cool gay aunts

(Source: imfiercenfeelingmighty)

After sharing her sob story, Jane and Maura decide to play the Harlequin romance, Dickensian drama or Springer guest game with their lives. I’d say they’re more The L Word meets Cagney & Lacey, but that’s just me.

Just then, to push them closer to the Springer guest category, Maura’s half-sister with half of her original kidneys shows up. Maura demands Jane go with her to see her, because pushing your girlfriend around is a two-way street. Jane says she only will if Maura keeps wearing her Wellies. Leave it to gay ladies to put the rubbers on their feet.

“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap: All in the family

(Source: missmaclay)

In the autopsy room, Jane walks in on a pencil-biting Maura. The things we do to alleviate sexual tension. Maura says she is doing it to exercise her smile muscles. She says studies have shown activating certain muscles can trick your brain into thinking you are happy. Sweetie, darling – I know some muscle you can activate that will make you actually happy. No tricks required.

"Rizzoli & Isles" Subtext Recap (4.01): Get your motor running

(Source: bound-for-life-00007)

You can say that again, TV Guide Magazine! 
Last year, Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon were practically right on top of each other in the AfterEllen Hot 100. In fact, they kind of made a sandwich out of Mila Kunis, who ranked in between them. Did you vote for the dynamic duo this year? (Do you vote for the sandwich in your imagination?)