You couldn’t even wear an engagement ring when Thea proposed in 1968. People would ask too many questions. You wore an engagement pin instead, because you still wanted a symbol that both of you could recognize. But you got braver with time, marching on the streets of New York City, demanding equality, becoming domestic partners when it became possible in 1993, deciding that you couldn’t have patience any longer. You gave great advice: “Don’t postpone joy. Keep joy as long as you can.”

An open letter to Edith Windsor on the day of her DOMA hearing