The Meet the Parents segment is interrupted because, dude, it’s finally time to fight. So Tamsin squares up her eyes to Bo and says, “Juice me.” Am I still wearing clothes? Because I don’t mean to be.
Bo grabs the back of Tam’s head and says sharing is caring. She jabs Tamsin and does the Succubus version of a blowback, where she sucks in some on Tamsin’s super juiced chi. They finally break all blue-eyed and slack-jawed and lusty roars and forget breaking out of the cell. First they’ll need a knife to cut all this sexual tension.
Congratulations to Dr. “Hot Pants” Lauren Lewis for winning our AfterEllen March Madness Best Lesbian/Bi Character Ever tournament!
After climbing in fully clothed (and armed), she is overcome by the warm suds and confesses. To her, Bo is perfect. And her wasted heart will love Bo – until she has to look her in her eyes and deliver her as a bounty to her mystery employer. But then maybe Bo really is perfect. Her eyes are both brown and blue. Her heart is both strong and gentle. She is virtuous, yet a succubus. She shouldn’t even be real, but she is. Poor, poor Valkyrie. Sometimes when she likes someone, she has to make her go away.
At the end of the season, we will finally find out why Tamsin has such animosity toward Bo, and also why that animosity is easily swayed into love — like a lot of animosity, I think. There’s a real investment there for Tamsin, and that investment is so deep and dear that she is afraid of it and has found it necessary to hate Bo, rather than love her, because she thinks it’s going to make things easier for her.
But we’ve got even more insidious evil to worry about than a couple of suburban moms dabbling in the occult. Because Dr. Taft is back at Lauren’s door again. And this time he’s carrying a little black folder filled with secrets. He charged his obscenely paid lawyers with digging up the dirt on her and what they found was Karen Beattie. I know, I know, it’s shocking to realize Lauren even had such a terrible, terrible haircut.
Yes, our Dr. Lewis is a fugitive from the law named Karen Beattie who, if I read her dossier right, is wanted for being linked to an organization involved in Interpol cases. Also for protesting against prison sentences and demonstrating about government restrictions to scientific research. That’s all she’s wanted for? Protesting? Doesn’t Interpol have like real terrorists to catch? Regardless, this solves the mystery as to why Lauren/Karen was in the Congo and Afghanistan for five years. Wait, hold up, say all this is true – there is still no way in hell Zoie Palmer is only 5’2.”
Bo stammers on about space and taking all the time she needs and her not going anywhere. But the heart wants what it wants, and it wants to have Lauren in her arms right now. But she leaves, and before she makes the door turns. “This is just a break, right?” And in that moment, we are all Bo.
What match-up #10 looks like right now in our AfterEllen March Madness: Best Lesbian/Bi Character Ever tournament.
Voting is now open for round two of our AfterEllen March Madness: Best Lesbian/Bi Character Ever tournament, and if you thought the match-ups in round one were rough, wait’ll you get a load of these.
We don’t know if we’re terrified or turned on. Both probably?
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