Stephanie Fiagrelle on Fox News using the top picture and thinking she was a dude.

Instead of answering salivating reporters, I’ll post here. Yes, I’m aware that I look like a dude. I have known this my entire life- I’ll prove it by sharing baby photos sometime. I’ve gotten bullied, hit on by gay dudes and hot “straight” girls, seen the inside of both male and female bathrooms. Gotten yelled at for going into the women’s restroom- but never the men’s. I’ve had to tell my parents, grandparents and the rest of my family that I am gay, ultimately facing their rejection. Luckily, since I’ve looked like a dude since birth, they all accepted me with open arms since they really weren’t surprised.

I’ve encountered much adversity in my life because of the way I look and who I’ve chosen to share my life with. Thankfully, I figured out who I was at a young age and I have cultivated a deep sense of self-trust and unshakeable confidence in the process. I am fortunate to have a wonderful, support and loving wife who I got to marry at the top of the Empire State building almost 1 year ago. I have loving parents who have always encouraged me to be myself (except when I went through my baggy pants stage, they hated that) and I have kick ass friends who love me for me.

I have made the decision to live my life authentically no matter who likes it, who’s confused by it, or who thinks I’m going to simmer in hell for eternity. I have many gay and transgender friends who suffer on a daily basis and to you I say, be who are with all of your heart. There’s a passionate fire to LIVE deep inside of each of us and the world will do all it can to snuff it out. Don’t let anyone take that passion from you. Don’t try to change yourself to please other people. You’ll lead a miserable, nightmare of an existence. Trust me, I know from personal experience.

For those who don’t like the way other people look or the choices they make in life (that are ultimately none of your business), here’s my advice: Take care of your own. Put all that energy and hate into bettering yourself, loving your kids and your wife/husband. Learn to open your heart and your mind and do your best to stop spewing your ignorance out into the universe.

Alright, end rant. I’m going to the beach!

Visibility isn’t everything. I’ve never thought that politically, like, “Ooh, you came out! You’re done!” I don’t think that. No, now roll up your damn sleeves! There’s work to be done! But we still shouldn’t overlook how tremendously powerful it is. I always take great hope, however defeated I’m feeling politically about the world around us and what’s happening, I get great hope from the fact that among the top shows on television are Modern Family and Glee. The world can’t be that bad right now, at least with respect to gay rights. That’s huge! That’s worth celebrating. There’s still way more to be done, but that actually does matter, number one.

Roll Up Your Damn Sleeves: An Interview with LGBT Activist and Fox News Commenter Sally Kohn

And in the reeeeeally not helping category, Fox News thingbot Monica Crowley made a heelarious joke about Sandra Fluke’s announced engagement. 
Get it? Well, no, I don’t either. Mostly because it’s not funny and Fox News was busy calling Fluke an overenthusiastic heterosexual just ten minutes ago. But I guess women who have strong opinions must be gay, and as we all know, there is something inherently hilarious about and wrong with that. - Ali Davis

Feminist Friday: Tennessee How Crazy We Can Get