Back and forth they go, vying for the spot of Roswood’s Next Top Homopants. Ezra tells of the time he once wore a flannel shirt to IKEA where he bought a couch for a cat he adopted with a girl he’d only known ten minutes. Emily knows everything about her star sign and pre-processes her horoscopes years in advance. Ezra took every women’s studies class offered at his college while wearing Birkenstocks and writing his term papers to the tunes of the Indigo Girls. Emily is friends with all of her exes (who are still alive) and sometimes she even engages in DIY projects with them on weekends. Ezra likes acoustic guitars. Emily likes fleece. Ezra orders beer samplers every chance he gets. Emily only wears chapstick. “I like to stay in and watch TV with my girlfriend and feel superior to every lesbian who’s still out there in the scene!” Ezra shouts. “I’m a collegiate-caliber athlete!” Emily shouts back.