Man, I’m so jealous. I want to go to gay paradise. Especially if gay paradise is also an island vacation. I imagine lots of cabana girls in flannel bikinis fanning me with organic palm fronds and all the Big Box stores playing Tegan and Sara endlessly on a loop. “Hardcore superstar by far! You’re the ultimate star.” And I’d be like, “Yes. Yes I am. Pass me the quinoa, pretty lady!