Music plays such a vital role in underscoring our favorite television shows. Who can forget Michelle Branch’s “Goodbye to You” wailing over the last heart wrenching scenes of Buffy’s “Tabula Rasa.” Or Pink’s “Glitter in the Air” gently playing while Paige and Emily have their first real kiss.
Have you ever thought about what the soundtrack might be to your favorite character? What tunes Leslie Shay might have in the rig, or what Santana listens to while plotting world domination? Here are carefully and lovingly curated playlists made especially for your favorite lesbian/bisexual characters. You can listen to all of them for free on Spotify. Be sure to add your own playlist suggestions in the comments as well.
Previously on The Fosters, Lena wanted to make a baby, Stef wanted to make Lena happy, and Timothy wanted to fertilize the world with his magical Rhodes Scholar sperm. Brandon made all the bad decisions. Jesus told Lexi he would wait for her and then met Emma who is cute and not in Honduras so he tried to break up with Lexi. But she came through the immigration vanishing cabinet Malfoy fixed up for her and arrived in the lesbian kitchen in time to mess with Jesus before breaking up with him. Mariana had a sorta date with not gay Zac and they kissed and then he told her he didn’t have time for dating. Stef and Lena found Callie and Jude’s father and Callie claimed she wanted nothing to do with him but then showed up on his front step while Stef and Lena got after it on the living room couch.
Singer/songwriter Brandi Carlile is used to birthing a baby every couple of years, but it’s usually in the form of an album. This June, she and her wife Catherine will produce one of a different kind: a baby girl.
I have an unusual and somewhat embarrassing issue. I’m a femme lesbian in my early thirties living in a very sophisticated city. When I turned 30, I began noticing my lips lose fullness and wrinkles around my eyes and mouth deepen. Every time I looked in the mirror, I’d see those lines and feel old. My mouth was always on the stingy side and with aging became practically non-existent.
After a couple years of agony, I decided to fix the issue, and had juvederm injected into my cheeks and lips. I’m pretty happy with the results and feel great, but after the injections my face and lips did swell and it was a bit obvious. A few of my friends have made subtle—and not so subtly—observations about my newly plump lips and smooth face. I feel self-conscious about having the procedure, especially as a lesbian, since we’re supposed to be above all that plastic surgery jazz. Should I fess up? No one’s outright asked, but I feel like they know.
—Lana Del Gay
Dear Lana Del Gay, Remember those WWJD: What Would Jesus Do bracelets that the not cool kids would sport in elementary school, before rebelling against Judeo Christianity and getting preggo/super duper high in high school? Well, there’s a far better question to ask yourself when it comes to issues of honesty and cosmetic enhancement: WWLDRD? What would Lana Del Rey Do? Lana Del Rey, born Lizzie Grant, transformed from privileged blonde bitch next door to lush human orchid. Although the changes in Lizzie/Lana’s face (specifically those magnificent lips, but also her nose) are too obvious to ignore, Lana has flat out denied cosmetic enhancement of any kind.
What can we learn from Lana? I’m so happy you asked. What we learn from Lana is thus: you do not owe anyone an explanation for how you look. If people want to whisper about you—and they’ll always want to whisper about you—let them. Don’t feed into the gossip. Don’t give them what they want: a reason to belittle your looks and life choices.
One of my deepest and most deeply held beliefs is that a woman’s body is her own. Whether it’s abortion or juvederm, you have the right to control your body without approval or justification. We all know Lana Del Rey had work done—but does that make her any less beautiful? Absolutely not. Your friends might suspect, or even feel sure, that you’ve had a little freshening up. That doesn’t make you any less fresh. If you want to brag about your dope dermy, go ahead. But if you’d rather not explain yourself, don’t. Deny. Lie, girl. Lie with the wind. Lie like Lana, like an American, like you were born to die. Final note: I dated a girl with restylane lips, and those beauties were like pillows of sex and velvet. Slap on some lipstick and don’t worry about the haters. Your lips are dope. I’m reminded of a bittersweet Emerson quote I’ve found to be lovely and correct: “Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.”
Verdict: Anyone who gossips about your face is a Beezy, not Biffle. Treat them accordingly.
Dear Biffle or Beezy,
I have a friendship problem, kind of. I’ve met this girl at college who I think is cool and witty and is hot, although not especially my type. We met at a house party and ended up leaving the party together and going out drinking til about five, but nothing happened because we both have girlfriends, although she was talking about how she isn’t happy with hers. I have avoided much contact since then because it seems like an ambiguous situation, but now she has messaged me again. Would it be bad for us to be friends? I feel like the situation was kind of charged. What are your thoughts?
— Miss Ambiguity
Dear Miss Ambiguity, this is absolutely a Biffle or Beezy question! First of all, let me offer congratulations on your high self esteem. A cool lesbo befriends and confides in you and you assume she’s trying to bone. I’m not saying she’s not into you, but am I saying that she has shown no sign of being into you. No matter how much she bitches about her girlfriend, she still has a girlfriend—and so do you. Neither of you are available, and neither of you have made a move. So why are you stressing? Why are you avoiding this poor girl? It sounds like you guys met, hit it off, and had a super fun night. If she’s actually unhappy with her relationship (as opposed to just bitching, a venerable pastime), she’s probably in need of a friend right now. Someone cool and witty and hot. Someone like you! Are all of your other friends hideous? Do you only befriend fuggos, or merely surround yourself with uggos? Not all women have a hidden agenda. I mean I do, but other girls don’t. I think.
Here’s some real talk: That charge you’re feeling? Yeah that’s coming from you. You’re attracted to this girl, probably because she’s hot, witty, and exotic. Are you worried about her actions or your own? You say she’s unhappy with her girlfriend—could you maybe be bored with yours? Or is this hot/witty/cool dyke the girl you never knew you wanted until you first laid eyes upon her silken mullet and sexy sleeve?
Now that we’ve established that a. she’s not hitting on you and b. you subconsciously want to hit on her, I have some good news: You can be friends with someone you kinda wanna bang. I do it all the time! Because my friends are hot. So hot. Like I am an attractive person, but I live in Los Angeles, and there are models/producers just milling about everywhere, being naturally pretty and waking up like this. It is both sickening and deeply erotic.
You can and should be friends with this, or any other rad hottie. If you really love your girlfriend, you’ll be able to control that urge to merge with babes. If your relationship isn’t meant to be, hanging out with other lesbians will remind you that there’s many of fish in the sea. Don’t punish your new friend or yourself for being sexy. We can’t help it. Hot, witty, rad girls can be great friends too. Just look at me.
Verdict: If you blow this girl off for being too awesome, you are a Beezy. Don’t let fear of temptation prevent a friendship.
Do you guys consider video games in your media coverage? Because Guild Wars 2 just had the first kiss of a lesbian couple that's been hinted at/developed for nearly a year and it was perfect and beautiful!
24-year-olds Crystal Jackson and Britney Crosby were brutally murdered over the weekend in Port Bolivar, Texas. The couple disappeared on Wednesday of last week before taking a trip to Galveston for Mardi Gras, and were not heard from again. It wasn’t until Friday their bodies were discovered next to a convenience store, their recently purchased 2006 Kia Sorrento missing.
They said they can't Facetime/Skype cos they live in a country where it's blocked. I really love chatting to them and they seem to genuine but I just don't know.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP. I can’t clutter up AE’s tumblr with too many questions so all I’m going to say is no, stop, seriously watch Catfish and To Catch A Predator. There are a million nice girls on tumblr who are real who are just dying to talk to another nice girl and be genuine so you need to stop now. Connect with someone you can see.
Also you are wonderful and loved and I genuinely think you can and should connect with someone real, someone who you can trust and see. Don’t sell yourself short. Please, for me, stop talking to the suspicious stranger. Please.
How can you spot fake lesbian blogs? I have a feeling someone I chat to often is a faker but can't be sure :(
DO NOT CHAT WITH THAT PERSON. Do not send anyone any pictures or your address without being 100% certain of who they are. Seriously. Facetime/Skype/whatever to verify and if they won’t DO NOT CHAT. You should watch Catfish and To Catch A Predator.
Be careful ya’ll seriously this question makes me nervous.